HP Harlequin Drabbles
by eidheann
Summary: Fluffy, dirty drabbles, written for the HP Harlequin Valentine's Day Smutty Comment meme on LJ. Warnings for unbeta'd drabbles, unrelated chapters, and fluffy smutty fluff (all out of my usual style). Please mind the M Rating. Marked complete as I'm not going to have time to fill more drabbles.
1. Chapter 1

**prompter:** **icicle33**  
**1-3 Pairing(s) or characters:** Harry/Draco  
**scenario/kink:** First Valentine's Day together. Wax play, chocolate, champagne, handcuffs, feathers, blindfolds, toys.  
**Optional Extras:** Use any of the options above or mix and match. Make it kinky or romantic. Anything goes.

(rated M for implication)

"Er..."  
"Too much?"  
"Um, well..."  
"It is, isn't it?"  
"It's... uh..."  
"I hit all the shops. You were complaining about Valentine's Day and..."  
"Well, I..."  
"And I know you really wanted something special."  
"Yes, but..."  
"But I screwed up, didn't I?"  
"What? No, it's just..."  
"I saw it in a magazine! Candles, chocolate, champagne..."  
"And _that_?"  
"Well, I thought..."  
"You thought...? What?"  
"I thought... that... maybeyoucouldtiemeup..."  
"Yes, I gathered that. But what about that?"  
"That?"  
"THAT."  
"Um..."  
"You cannot seriously expect me to..."  
"What? Oh. I was... thinking..."  
"Thinking what?"  
"Well, with the chocolates, and the champagne..."  
"I'm listening..."  
"Light the candles..."  
"Mmmm... I mean go on."  
"We could feed each other chocolates..."  
"Yess..."  
"That's made of chocolate, too, you know."

"Harry?"

"Um, Harry?"  
"On the bed."  
"What?"  
"You. Bed. Down. Now."  
"But what about-"  
"You brought home a chocolate dildo the size of a hippogriff. I think I'm the only one who's going to be eating chocolate tonight."  
"Ack! Oh... mmmmmm..."


	2. Chapter 2

**prompter:** **queenie_mab**  
**1-3 Pairing(s) or characters:** Harry/Draco or any pairing  
**scenario/kink:** Disillusionment Charm sex

One character takes another while under a Disillusionment Charm. It's up to you if it was agreed upon before hand or if this is a surprise to the person it's happening to.  
**Optional Extras:**

===  
Um, a fluffy bit of 8th year pwp? unbeta'd? my first attempt at pwp? fluffy silliness?

**o.o.o**

"Draco, truth or dare?"

Draco groaned and took another drink of the firewhisky in front of him at the common room table. "I told you I wasn't interested in playing..."

Pansy bumped his shoulder. "You're sitting here drinking with us. Least you can do is answer Blaise's question."

Draco glanced around the table. The eighth year common room was filled with lounging former members of all the Hogwarts houses, all looking happy and more than a bit tipsy. And all looking expectantly at him. He finally huffed a sigh. "I hate you, Blaise. Dare."

Blaise waggled his eyebrows and took a sip of his own drink. "Snape taught you Disillusionment, didn't he?"

"Wouldn't answering that count as truth and negate the dare?"

Blaise's laugh was louder than normal, never a good sign. "True, true. So, I dare you..." Blaise's eyes darted around the room, before his grin turned to a more wicked smirk. "Oral sex. In public."

The common room erupted in laughter, and Weasley spat out the mouthful of firewhisky in his mouth at Blaise's words. "What?"

Draco would have laughed at the gaping expression had he not been certain it matched his own. "Wait, what?"

Blaise was now giggling. "Disillusion yourself, or hide, or something. Oral sex with someone at this table in public."

Draco's eyes darted around the room as he tried to quash his own feelings of panic. "Pubic?"

Blaise nodded. "Great Hall, Library, class..."

Granger interrupted Blaise's suggestions. "I don't think-"

"Oh come on! Who here wouldn't want Draco Malfoy going down on them?"

Draco didn't even look, his face was buried in his hands as he debated the best way to get away with murdering his supposed best friend.

**o.o.o**

"I hate you."

Blaise turned over in his bed to peer through the darkness at Draco. "What?"

"Oral sex? In Public? What the hell are you thinking?"

"That you need to get laid? And if you notice, Potter looked... intrigued."

"Oh Merlin, is that what-"

"Come off it. You two have been dancing around each other since the start of term. It's only a matter of time."

"Only a matter of time until what?" Draco paused, then frowned fiercely at his friend. "This is Finnigan isn't it? There's some sort of money riding on this...?"

Blaise laughed. "Of course, lots. Who you'll choose, when you'll do it-"

"On me and Potter?"

Blaise's voice became even more amused. "Oh, that's long odds. No one seems to think the two of you will pull your heads out of your collective arses until after Hogwarts."

"And when's your money on?"

"This week."

"This WEEK?"

"Why do you think we started playing truth or dare last night?"

At least the sound of the pillow striking Blaise in the face was somewhat satisfying.

**o.o.o**

"So when are you going to do it?"

Draco frowned up at Pansy, mind still half on the translation he was in the middle of for Ancient Runes. "Do what?"

"Suck Potter's cock?"

He let his head fall and hit the table. "When is your money on?"

"Blaise told you? He's such a bitch. Tuesday."

"Today's Tuesday..."

Pansy patted the back of his head, her voice going syrupy sweet in an instant. "That's why I'm trying to move things along."

"I need new friends."

"Yes, dear. Now go run along, Potter's just come into the library. Go make me a nice handful of Galleons."

"Go suck him yourself."

"No need to be rude."

Draco glanced briefly up at Pansy before letting his head fall once again.

**o.o.o**

He couldn't believe he was doing this. McGonagall had just finished the evening announcements, and he was hiding under the 8th year table, disillusioned to his eyeballs, and waiting on the normal dinner ruckus to start and cover what he was about to do. It had been two weeks to the day since he'd accepted the stupid dare, long enough for the dirty looks of his friends to begin to fade, and he'd begged off dinner this evening with a headache.

Not that his head wasn't pounding, but the familiar scuffed trainers in front of him were proving a sufficient distraction. He'd thought about finding someone else to use to meet the conditions of the dare just for spite, but from what he'd seen when he snuck a peek at Finnigan's odds lead him to believe the entire _school_ thought he'd pick anyone but Potter. So he'd picked today, a day only one person seemed to have money on. He had no idea who 17 was, but they were about to make themselves a pretty tidy pile.

Just then, the familiar sounds of dinner erupted around him, making him jump. He waited until he heard Weasley and Granger talking before reaching out a tentative hand and letting it glide up the leg before him, pushing up the robes as he went. A familiar tanned hand suddenly clenched the bench when the figure startled.

"You alright, Harry?" Weasley sounded like he had half the food on his plate stuffed into his mouth, and Draco grimaced, glad the table was between him and the inevitable spray.

"Fine, Ron." Harry's voice sounded strangled, and Draco smirked to himself as he deftly began to work the button on his flies.

"You sure, mate? You look a bit flushed."

An awkward cough, then again he replied. "Fine. Fine. Totally fine."

Draco dropped his head briefly to Harry's knee while he tried to keep the laughter from bubbling over, though he was certain Harry knew he was laughing. His impression was confirmed when he felt a flick to the top of his head, and he frowned, tugging sharply on the trousers he was still holding and making Harry shift awkwardly in his seat when he pulled them down to his thighs.

He tried to not think about how attractive he suddenly found white cotton Y-fronts, especially when they were tented around an impressive bulge. Instead, he concentrated on carefully tugging the waistband, pulling it away and letting Harry's cock spring free. Harry shifted again, and he pulled the pants down as well.

He spent a moment simply watching, the sounds of dinner long since faded to an indistinct buzzing. He knew if he moved forward, things could change. For all that Blaise and Pansy teased him for his little crush on Harry, he was afraid of it being much more than that. And even if Harry's cock was obviously interested in the proceedings, he'd done nothing to indicate he felt anything toward Draco at all.

He didn't know what was worse, the thought that Harry _was_ interested, or that he wasn't.

Giving an irritated shrug, he pushed those thoughts away. He couldn't do anything about it, and the fact he actually had this chance was too good to pass up. He took a deep breath and double-checked his disillusionment, before leaning forward and kitten-licking the drop of moisture from the tip of Harry's cock, savoring the salty bitterness of it and mentally smirking at the sudden cough above his head.

"Are you sure you're alright, Harry?" This time it was Granger's voice which responded to Harry's evident distress, and Draco quickly suckled the cockhead into his mouth before Harry had the chance to reply.

"Fine." Harry's voice was remarkably steady this time, and he seemed focused on making as much noise with his fork on his plate as he could. "Just a bit of a headache, test in Potions tomorrow."

Granger seemed to take this as her cue to start lecturing Harry on his study habits. Draco knew this meant both Weasley and Harry was expected to stare blankly at her, at their food, and nod occasionally with no other active participation needed, so he set to work, pulling off and running his tongue around the crown and flicking it down the thick vein before running it back up and swallowing him in earnest.

He was beginning to settle into a slow rhythm, down, running his tongue around as much of the prick as he could manage, up with a hard suck, when he felt a tentative hand reach out and gently caress his hair. It was unexpected and he pulled off briefly to glance up. The hand slipped down and the thumb gently brushed across his cheek, and he heard Granger still talking about... something. He didn't think when the hand wrapped back around his head and gently tugged him towards the cock in front of him, simply swallowing it again with a quiet moan that caused the fingers moving back to his hair to clench briefly and Harry's hips to rock slightly.

He gave up on technique then, holding the cock steady, swallowing as much as he could. It was too good, and too much something he'd never thought he'd get the chance to do. He knew he was holding too tight, sucking too hard, it was going to be over too quickly, but he wanted it; he wanted it, wanted to feel Harry explode in his mouth, to know it was for _him_. His world narrowed to the heavy feeling of the cock on his tongue, the steady flow of salty bitterness in his mouth, the feeling of fingers wrapped in his hair almost too tight. He could feel Harry's bollocks drawing up, and he had an instant to wish he could see his face before he felt the first pulse of Harry's cock on his tongue, and he pulled back slightly, suckling the head and letting his mouth fill before swallowing greedily.

He had a moment to feel the hand loosening in his hair before he became aware of the relative silence around him.

"Uh, mate? Please tell me Malfoy isn't under the table right now..."

**o.o.o**

He was glad Severus had taught him such a good disillusionment spell. He was able to resettle Harry's robes and remain still under the table and no one was the wiser, suspicions aside. He lingered until the Hall was almost empty before crawling out and wandering to the open doors. His mind was whirling, uncertain what to think of the events of the past hour. He detoured to the kitchens to get some actual food, and of course that's where Harry found him.

"So, uh." Draco glanced up briefly before returning his gaze to his sandwich and tried to will away the color flooding his cheeks. "You, um." He looked up again, this time allowing an eyebrow to twitch at the equally red-faced Harry.

"Sucked your cock in the Great Hall?"

Harry's eyes went wide behind his glasses, and his gaze darted around the kitchen where the elves were pointedly ignoring him. He finally glanced back at Draco and coughed. "Um, yeah."

"Right, well then, glad to have established we're all on the same page..." He focused again on the sandwich and debated trying to take a bite.

Harry shuffled a bit further into the kitchen. "Thank you."

Draco laughed weakly as the tension in the kitchen ratcheted up to uncomfortable levels. "Yes, I suppose that is what one says after getting head."

Harry came forward again. "No, I mean... I'd like to return the favor. Sometime."

Draco blinked. "You want to suck me off at-"

Harry shook his head, his entire face seemingly close to bursting into flames. "No, I mean... Well, yes but..."

Draco's lips twisted into a half-smile. "You're really quite bad at this, you know."

"Oh Merlin, I know." Harry scrubbed his hand through his hair and offered Draco a small smile of his own. "I'd like to discuss this whole sucking each other off thing on a more permanent basis."

"Permanent?"

Harry now stood near enough to touch and he leaned forward, bracing an arm against the back of Draco's chair. "Permanent. And... some other things as well."

"Other things...?" Draco could feel his attention pulled from Harry's eyes down to his mouth, the chapped, full lips nearer than he thought they would ever be.

Harry's other arm came up slowly, until Draco was bracketed between them. "Mmhmm. I was thinking about starting now, actually, with something like this."

Harry swooped in and captured Draco's mouth in a sudden kiss, tongue sliding quickly into his mouth when Draco gasped and dropped his plate. He had only enough time for his brain to inform him he was actually _snogging Harry Potter_ when a voice from the door interrupted them. "Oh Harry, Draco. I'm so glad to see you." They both turned to see Luna standing in the doorway, smiling dreamily at them while twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

He coughed, and Harry straightened slightly. "Uh, hello, Luna. Did you... need something?"

"Oh no, it's fine. The wrackspurts just told me to come in here and check on you both. After what happened at dinner, I mean. I wanted to make sure you were both not being silly. But you seem to be doing as you ought, so I need to go visit Seamus and collect my winnings. Congratulations to you both, by the way."

When she turned and wandered back out of the kitchen, Draco glanced up at Harry. "Wrackspurts?"

Harry shook his head. "Don't ask."


	3. Chapter 3

HP Harlequin prompt fill 3  
**prompter:** **tamlane**  
**1-3 Pairing(s) or characters:** Neville/Pansy OR Draco/anyone  
**scenario/kink:** Characters are set up on a blind date. Literally. When they get to the agreed location, one or both become subject to a blinding charm that can only be released by a kiss... or more. ;D  
**Optional Extras:**

===  
**A bit less fluffy than the earlier bits, but I still think it's fluffy enough to count. Didn't seem to want to go smutty, however. Apologies :(**

xxx

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this..."

"Shut up, Draco, and smile. I already told you, when we take the potion, we'll kiss quickly so we can see what we're doing at this thing."

"Pans-"

"Luna! Hello!" Pansy leaned forward and gave Luna a quick hug, dodging the Engorgio'd chrysanthemum tangled in the blonde hair over her ear.

"Pansy! Draco! Good of you to come, you're almost the last ones here..." Luna's voice was as dreamy as ever, and she seemed to be talking to the air somewhere above Draco's shoulder. "If you'd like to step inside, we've wine and butterbeer."

Draco kissed Luna briefly on the cheek in greeting as he hurried to follow Pansy into the open room filled with a dozen uncomfortably-chatting guests. House lines seemed to hold true, judging by the huddle of former Hufflepuffs standing in the corner, and not much mingling seemed to be occurring. He wondered briefly how the others had been bribed or blackmailed to come to this little party idea of Luna's when his thoughts were distracted by a loudly whispered argument behind him. Stepping out of the way, he saw Female Weasley dragging Potter into the room after her. Potter's face turned red and he abruptly stopped hissing in Weasley's ear when he saw the others in the room had turned to look at the newest arrivals.

"Everyone is here!" Luna's voice cut through the uncomfortable silence, and Draco was relieved to note he was not the only one to jump. She began wandering through the room, handing each guest a string of bottlecaps tied with twine. "These will be your Portkeys for the evening, so don't lose them. Putting them on also activates the Know-Me-Not that we're using. To go over the rules again, you'll be with whoever shares your first location for an hour. If you like who you're with, a kiss will cancel both charms and you're free to spend the rest of the evening however you like. If you don't, the Portkey will fire and mix up the couples again. This will continue each hour until midnight."

Draco turned to glare at Pansy, who looked entirely too smug. "You said _potions_ were going to be used... One little kiss and we wouldn't have to put up with this secretive crap." He noticed out of the corner of his eye that Potter had turned at his whisper, but at the moment he couldn't care less if he was overheard.

"And you _believed_ me? Oh, Draco..." Pansy's laughter caused more people in the room to turn and look, and Draco cursed the redness he knew was beginning to rise in his cheeks.

Before he could retort, Luna was in front of him, tying the twine around Draco's wrist. "Here you are, Draco. Portkey activates in two minutes."

He retreated, leaning against the wall behind him, and crossed his arms. He didn't care that he was sulking, though he did have a moment to wonder at the look exchanged between Pansy, Ginny, and Luna before he felt the familiar hooking sensation behind his navel.

xxx

When he stopped spinning, he found himself in a tangle of limbs with someone else and tipping rapidly to the floor where his head hit with a crack. His cursed response came out more as a wheeze as whoever had Portkeyed in with him landed across his chest.

"Shite! Sorry!" The figure above him was a mass of blurry and indistinct features and coloring, and the voice came across simply as "male" and "familiar." At least he scrambled up quickly enough, allowing Draco a deep breath. "You alright? I think the Portkeys had us set to land in the exact same spot..."

"I'll be alright. Give me a second, my head's still spinning." Draco took a moment to try and take stock of himself and his surroundings. He was on a stone floor, cold beginning to seep into his back and legs, with a merrily burning fireplace to his left, and his companion still kneeling to his right. His head hurt from where he'd smacked it, though he attributed most of the dizziness to the combination of the Portkey and the unexpected landing rather than injury. His arse, on the other hand, was killing him.

He sat up slowly, stifling a groan, and felt the warm hand of his companion on his shoulder offering support. "There's some chairs just behind you. Cushy. Can you stand? Probably better than the floor." He nodded in reply, and allowed himself to be pulled up and helped to one of the chairs. He collapsed with a grimace, immediately shifting to try and take the pressure off his poor, abused tailbone. "You sure you're alright?"

He glanced up at his companion, who was standing beside his chair, wand in hand though not pointed. He couldn't help his smirk, even though he knew it would be lost in the spell. "I don't know if we know each other well enough to be shooting Episky at each other's arses, but an extra cushioning charm wouldn't be amiss."

He was answered with a laugh and a wand flick, and settled deeper into the suddenly more comfortable chair. "Oh that's nice. That's very nice." As his temporary companion claimed the other seat, he looked around the room with more interest. It was fairly small. Grey stone walls were covered with colorful tapestries, and windows sat high above them. The two chairs were comfortable but unmatched; one a brown plaid, the other a blue stripe. The low table between them held a carafe of red wine and two empty glasses. Something about the room seemed very familiar, and he looked around again with a slight frown. "Are we in Hogwarts?"

His companion startled and glanced around quickly as well. "I... I think we are. How odd, I wonder how brupijum managed that."

He blinked. "Pardon? You mean asforits? Oh what the hell..."

"That's strange. Must be the Know-Me-Not. I thought it only obscured things directly, like my name or yours..."

He sighed. "It may be because everyone participating in this little... thing... is also under the spell? Oh this is stupid. What sort of blind date is this supposed to be? I can't say my name is vigiwip or that I work as a wotsuk. What in Merlin's name are we supposed to talk about for an hour?"

There was a pause while the other man shrugged and then poured the wine. Passing a glass to Draco, he replied. "Well, call me Green. Huh. At least made-up names work. I was just saying I wondered how... Chrysanthemum managed to set a Portkey to Hogwarts."

"Huh. I'll steal your example, thanks for that by the way. Call me Gray. And I don't know. I didn't know I was even coming to her little party until... er... Scarlet showed up at my door this evening."

"You and me both." Green stretched an arm out and clinked his glass gently against Draco's. "Was planning on a nice quiet evening in with some takeaway and the Falcons match on the wireless. I didn't even know mosatek... er... Chrysanthemum was having a party tonight."

"Ha. You're not missing much, Kestrels will wipe the pitch with them."

"Mmm. Not if Donovan can pull his head out of his arse and catch the snitch. Either way, whichever wins will fall to Pud U. Now that's a game I wouldn't want to miss."

"Puddlemere hasn't defeated the Kestrels in five seasons."

"Ah, but this year they've pulled Wood off reserves."

Draco laughed. "So you think Donovan will be so busy staring at Wood's arse he'll forget both his own _and_ the snitch?"

"Well, I would!"

Straightening in his chair, Draco held up his glass. "To Oliver Wood. And my first wank."

"Here here."

xxx

The bottle of red was almost empty, and he and Green had fallen into a comfortable silence after a long and detailed analysis of the current Quidditch season when Draco thought to cast a Tempus. "Ten-thirty? Weren't these supposed to reactivate each hour?"

Green looked at Draco's Tempus, then cast his own. "Odd. That's what Chrysanthemum said, yes. I wonder if our Portkeys short-circuited since they dropped us on top of each other."

"Buggery. And of course there's no door here, and if we _are_ at Hogwarts, there's no Apparating back, either."

"Can give it a shot either way..." Green stood and spun on his heel. "Or nothing could happen." He flopped back onto his chair, kicking Draco lightly in the shin when he started snickering. "I didn't see you trying to get out of here."

"Oh I'm too comfortable, you do quite the passable cushioning charm." He grinned, setting his glass back on the low table. Letting his voice drop to a purr, he continued. "Mmm... Could always try the other way of getting out."

"Let me guess, you want me to go over there and snog you because you're too comfortable to move?"

"And he's smart, too!"

"You're the spoilt, high-maintenance type, aren't you?" Green's voice radiated amusement and Draco found himself settling more comfortably in the chair, letting it wash over him.

"Mayhap a bit." He grinned across at Green before giving him his own nudge. "Why, not your type?"

Green gave a long-suffering sigh. "Maybe too much."

Silence fell again, broken only by the popping of the fire. Draco allowed the foot still resting against Green's to slide around the back of his calf and give a soft tug in his direction. "I notice that for all I'm apparently your type, I'm still sitting here unsnogged."

After several moments with no response to that, Draco sighed, pulling his foot back. The familiar, uncomfortable feeling of rejection started to fill him and he straightened in his chair, pulling himself out of his comfortable sprawl.

"You're certain you... want to know?"

"Want to know what?" He winced inwardly at how sharp his words sounded in response to Green's tentative question, but felt on the defensive as he hadn't in years.

"Oh, I don't know, the bloke you've been flirting in here with for the past two and a half hours?" Green's voice was tinged with impatience and frustration, and the situation began to feel entirely too familiar for Draco's liking.

"Well, if you're so desperate to get away, I was simply pointing out it was the way we'd been told would work and hadn't tried yet. I apologize for offending your delicate sensibilities with my flirting. After all, they'll look for us eventually."

"Bwatrip- Grey, that's not what I meant, and you know it."

The blur of syllables made him cringe in his seat. If Green had figured out who he was, had tried to say his name only to have it garbled by the spell, he was certain of Green's identity as well. Everything clicked into place, from the earliest conversation about Wood, to the ever-present feeling of rejection.

"No. I don't." He pushed himself up out of the chair and limped to the fire, cursing quietly when the bruises that had stiffened up in the hours of comfortable conversation flared to life once again.

He stiffened, but managed to refrain from actually jumping in surprise when he felt Potter's hand gently grasp his shoulder, tugging him around until he was facing the blurry figure standing much closer than expected. "I meant, did you want to know that it was me..."

Draco swallowed as Potter's other hand lifted, lightly tracing his jaw and cheek while his fingers threaded into Draco's hair. His eyelids drooped and he leaned forward, caught in the inexplicable gravity that had always existed between them. He allowed his lips to brush lightly against Potter's once, twice, before Potter let out a groan and pushed him back into the mantel, mouth opening and tongue tracing his lips.

"Fuck, Draco..." He opened his eyes as he gulped a breath and found himself caught in Potter's bottle-green gaze. Then his eyes closed again as Potter- Harry pushed him again, grinding against him as his tongue filled his mouth.

This time it was pain that caused him to push Harry back and breathe. "Later. The wall and floor are hard, and my arse is sore enough for now, thank you."

Harry just laughed.

xxx

"Well, that worked." Pansy took a sip of the fluorescent pink cocktail in her hand as she leaned over the scrying mirror on Luna's dining room table.

"Finally. It only took two hours of Quidditch talk to get there." Ginny leaned back in her own chair, stretching the knots out of her back gained by hours leaning over the mirror. "Men..."

"I should maybe go up there and show them how to find the door..." Luna was sitting cross-legged on her dining table, braiding more bottlecaps into her hair. "I doubt they'll want to stay in the tower all night; it's full of Nargles and there's no bed."

"That was a pretty detailed illusion you set up before we arrived. Aren't you tired?" Ginny eyed Luna with concern, expression growing more worried at Luna's shrugged response.

"Eh, tomorrow's soon enough. They look like they're just fine entertaining themselves for the moment." One of Pansy's scarlet nails tapped the mirror, her expression avid. Both Ginny and Luna turned and peered in as well.

"Oh dear, I'm going to have to replace that chair, won't I?"


End file.
